Creative Deterrents
Yesterday, I had to bike to a less familiar area of town. I was unsure how safe the area was, and, once I locked up my lovely bike, I found it hard to walk away. Would it be there when I returned?
While I could ride a beater bike instead I get so much more enjoyment from riding a bike I love. So instead of getting a rusty tank of a bike I’ve been thinking of ways to make my pretty bike less attractive to thieves:
I think this will work great. At least until someone invents a bicycle cloaking device. And I don’t think that’s far off seeing as both me any my bicycle become immediately invisible to everyone the second I get on it. It’s just a matter of finding a way of making that happen when I’m done riding it too.
Whether it’s a car or a bicycle, I always take comfort in knowing that there are so many newer or less rusty ones out there that mine is low, low down the list of a thief. I seem to park in a crime-free around world Boston – I leave my seat bag packed with tools, my pump mounted on down tube, and decent head and tail lights mounted, and nothing has ever been pinched. I do, however, run a cable lock through my Brooks leather saddle knowing I paid for that nearly twice what my bike is worth. It’s also nice thinking all my bikes are of a vintage (Raleigh three-speeds) that the typical thief is not interested. I recall a friend who once owned a Porsche: We drove from my house the quarter mile to a public lot to unload shite to go sailing but he didn’t dare leave his baby there so he drove it back to my house and walked over. What’s the point of having a vehicle if you have to fret so?
“Bicycle cloaking device”?
I already have one of those. Trouble is, it keeps engaging while I’m cycling in traffic. Nothing else can account for drivers’ apparent inability to see me…
I caught a guy red handed stealing the wheels off my bike a couple years ago. He got the rear wheel off but was too stupid to figure out the lawyer lips on the front fork. I cussed at him, called 911 and thus began a slow-speed chase through downtown. I stayed on the phone with dispatch while he ducked into a restaurant, got thrown out and finally holed up in a wrecked rental car. After the cops hauled him off, I started combing downtown looking for my missing wheel. A guy from a nearby quick lube apologized for lending the thief a pair of pliers that he used to cut my brake cable. Since then I’ve been much more careful with my bike-locking strategy. I love your ideas, but these days a good pirate is so hard to find. And the fake vomit? Genius.
I’ve had beaters stolen as they were chained right next to shiny new racers. It’s just a matter of which one they can get the quickest. These thieves aren’t clever entrepreneurs maximizing their value proposition, they’re just stealing whatever they can.
So I’m sitting harborside on a beautiful afternoon awaiting my wife’s arrival after work so we can catch the ferry for home when I glance up from my book to cathch a glimpse of what looks to be her bike glding by right in front of me. Sure enough. On second look it is her bike but it is not her atop the blue Specialized. Not thinking, just reacting I grab my bike and give chase for three or four blocks. At a stop light I came to a quick stop right in front of him, unclipped, placed a strong hand on her handlebars, looked the thief in the eye and said, “That’s my bike!” He offered up a paltry story aobut a friend asking him to pick up a bike that was just like this one. “No!” I said, “That’s my bike. You shouldn’t steal bikes!” Not sure if this is a good method but my wife sure thought I was a hero because when I met her with her bike in tow she said, “I could have anything I wanted.”