Unwanted Advice
When I first started biking I didn’t know what I was doing. But I knew I was having fun. Yes, loads of fun, until…
Yes, the unsolicited advice from strangers started coming. Of course some of it was useful advice. But no matter what it was also condescending. I wished they would be quiet and let me enjoy my ride. If I wanted bike help I could turn to my bike shop or the internet. I decided then to never give advice on the road.
Now with years of experience I have tons of tips I want to share too. When I bike in spring my inner monologue goes something like this:
And when I see the newbie swerve I have to wonder:
But I just keep quiet and let everyone enjoy their ride and hope they keep riding… and maybe someday giving advice to others.
Unsolicited advice almost never works. Beyond modeling good behavior, the most effective approach toward active education is to provide an attractive invitation to learn more. I enjoy teaching cycling skills classes to novice cyclists who have self-selected to sign up for the classes, but there are many smaller ways to reach those with less determination. If you can start a conversation, ask people how they feel, what they like, what they don’t like when cycling. Ask if they think they would like some help. One piece of useful advice per day is probably the limit on what a person will be willing and able to process in a casual encounter – and only if they have decided that they want help.
Unsolicited advice gets me pretty agitated. on FB a more “experienced cyclist” said i should have pocketed my wind vest because having it flap in the wind is inefficient. I had to explain that 1) i’m a tiny person so my jersey pockets are also pretty small they won’t even fit in them. 2) i don’t care about efficiency and I’m enjoying my ride anyway. 3) I don’t care that it bothers you. you are NOT me (so go away).
two things I often want to tell people but don’t: “your chain needs lube,” and “your tires need air.”
things I do tell people: “one of your wheels is wobbling,” “your pannier is about to fall off,” and “nice bike” (to the bakfiets people – probably will stop saying it the more I see them, though).
I like the commiserating at stop lights when we see someone do something stupid.
I agree with mouth breather. I’m not shy about complimenting a bike or starting a conversation at a stop light, and I rarely talk to people at all. I’ve also appreciate when others see something wrong, like my strapped on load looking like it’s about to fall off. Well meaning is better than rude. Advice comes in many forms, even through comics.
You inner dialogue is great advice and I am sure it will be appreciated by others who seek advice.
The delivery of well-meaning advice can make the difference between whether it is taken as helpful or offensive. Naturally I want to be helpful and say something, especially if speaking up could make the difference between the other rider’s comfort and safety. Most of the time I bite my tongue because the person is probably aware their bike is squeaking, tires need air or saddle is too low (perhaps they are comfortable riding that way). If I feel that I really should say something, it would be more like this for example, “I thought you’d want to know that it looks like your wind vest could be falling out of your back pocket.”
Likewise if someone were to say something to me, I would just give them a head nod and let them know I appreciate it and just ride on. To each their own.