No Butts

The weather is getting colder and I’ve found myself caught behind some cyclists suffering from a very specific problem.

No Butts

It got me thinking… if I ever Kickstarted a bike-related accessory maybe it should be this:

No Butts

But I’m not going to Kickstarter it. I’m afraid it would actually be taken seriously and get crazy over-funded. So, for now, if you find your butt is getting frostbitten I recommend wearing a longer coat and/or belt.



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37 Comments on "No Butts"

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Opus the Poet

Cyclists need higher rise pants in the back. not only do we spend most of our time bent over, but we tend to be larger back there in the first place causing even more Southern Exposure.

Kevin Love

Who is “we”? The majority of bicycles manufactured in the world are upright utility bikes. No “bent over” there.

For example, TI Group in India manufactures about 3 million bicycles per year. Here are some of them:


Try riding a Dutch bike instead of being bent over you’ll be sitting like in an armchair.

John Harshbarger

As with the other 2 replies, go dutch. I own 3 bikes, 2 city bikes(one dutch style, the other generic city bike) and one mountain bike converted to a city bike. No bending over, no back pain. Just a relaxing ride.

Dutch bikes are fine for you, they don’t suit everyone’s riding needs. a proper fitting bike no matter the geometry or stance will not cause back pain. I should know, I have 3 bulging discs in my spine (C5, L3 and L5) and have a bike with a geometry designed for “agressive” (read high speed and tight handling) riding, Dutch bikes have a riding position that causes back pain by the nature of the upright riding position, the hunch alleviates spinal compression, limits spinal torsion and shifts load from the back to the legs especially while carrying heavy loads in… Read more »

*causes me back pain


I’m so worried about the butt freezing Hipsters. Not. Hahaha! Let them freeze to death! Say hello to butt free bike lines again 🙂

Vocus Dwabe

In England the condition is known as “Builder’s Cleavage”.


In Germany der Maurerausschnitt or das Maurerdekolleté


I’ve always heard it called “Plumber’s Butt.”


Hahahaha! I love this!


Well, it all depends who is riding in front of you. I remember a time when everyone was following this cyclist and nobody, including a cab driver wanted to overtake her.

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