Unwanted Advice
When I first started biking I didn’t know what I was doing. But I knew I was having fun. Yes, loads of fun, until…
Yes, the unsolicited advice from strangers started coming. Of course some of it was useful advice. But no matter what it was also condescending. I wished they would be quiet and let me enjoy my ride. If I wanted bike help I could turn to my bike shop or the internet. I decided then to never give advice on the road.
Now with years of experience I have tons of tips I want to share too. When I bike in spring my inner monologue goes something like this:
And when I see the newbie swerve I have to wonder:
But I just keep quiet and let everyone enjoy their ride and hope they keep riding… and maybe someday giving advice to others.
http://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg
I wonder how regional or local culture works w/ this issue. I read ‘condescending’ here several times. That’s a mortal sin in my ‘hood (Montana). ‘Condescending’ never seems far from ‘SOB’ in our dialog.
I wouldn’t offer advice so much as a hand. “Can I pump up that rear tire for ya? It’s nearly flat.” But even that’s pretty rare, as we tend to let forward motion stay that way.
Insightful issue, Bikeyface.
It seems it is the women who think that giving ‘advice’ is condescending. Why is that? I have on occasions let cyclists know that they need to have lights when riding at dusk/night. Don’t they realise it is hard to see them? AND … I am happy to move over from the six inches of bike track when there is a clearing to give the cars a chance to pass on by.
I often give unsolicited advice (typically about safety issues). It’s NEVER condescending. I do it because I care about other people who ride bikes and want them to be happy and safe and keep riding their bikes forever.
When folks think someone else is being condescending, they’re often projecting their own insecurities. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could all just take advice at face value? I never judge others when riding a bike. I think it’s awesome. If they’re doing something that might jeopardize their safety, they often don’t realize this is the case. And most times, folks thank me for caring.