The Most Perfectest Safety Gear

There’s a lot of safety gear made for cyclists. Reflective vests, ankle reflectors, mirrors, flags, lights, more lights, fancy lights, super fancy lights.

However with all of these products it seems that cars still like to run into us. Even on purpose.

Perhaps there is better safety solution. A better way to protect ourselves. Maybe it’s something so obvious we overlook it everyday.

What is this solution you ask?


The Most Perfectest Safety Gear

Yes, puppies. Cute adorable puppies with big sparkly eyes and little wet noses and pink tongues.

What’s that you say? Puppies are not bike gear?

Uh, think again:

The Most Perfectest Safety Gear

Because apparently human beings don’t have a problem with hurting other human beings… just because they happen to have a bicycle.

However intentionally hurting a puppy is a totally different thing. Nobody dares do that. Because that would mean that you’re actually a bad person.

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19 Responses to “The Most Perfectest Safety Gear”

  • Excellent! But maybe they should be strapped to our heads for bettering viewing. Motorists can then make no mistake- there is a puppy- proceed with caution.

  • Jim

    Um. That’s actually me.

  • Amy

    I have no puppies. :( But I do have kittens. A basket of kittens may work just as well.

  • That dangling puppy is breaking my heart!

  • Sue

    Aww… I used to own a Boston Terrier. Love that first sketch.

    I totally agree, it seems that there are more duck crossing signs than there are share the road signs protecting cyclists. Heaven forbid a poor little duck get run over. But, hey – what’s a human life matter anyway as long as the little ducks are safe.

  • trevor

    animal crossing signs aren’t posted to save the lives of animals. they are posted to warn people to slow down so that people don’t get killed by crashing into the animal, or by their erratic maneuvers taken in haste to avoid the animal.

    that’s why bikes don’t need caution signs, nobody swerves to avoid them since they never see them to begin with. we will know when more people are riding their bikes in the roadway where they belong when transportation agencies do start posting bike warning signs.

  • Robert Major

    Poor pups don’t look too happy. Could be reported to the NSPCA. Just kidding. Hilarious sketch. Just gets better and better.

  • Oh my goodness that first drawing is too precious! Puppies wicking each other!? Killer cute.

  • I used to bring my dog to school with me by putting him into a backpack with his head sticking out. I didn’t notice that it made a huge difference in how cars behaved around me, but maybe it was because he wasn’t a puppy, just a small dog!

  • Lol, there’s a lot of serious comment here. Why not do it with donkeys? Or baby elephants? Everyone loves elephants!

  • sorry to burst your bubble, but according to Experiment 1 in this article (, humans are more likely to harm animals than people. Granted, this not any more comforting for me on my commute home.

  • Justin Winokur

    I ride with my tiny Boston Terrier (she is only 12 lbs) in a basket in back. Cars are still assholes. Of course, there are the few that notice the pooch and are always amused.

  • somervillebikes

    Kids work even better than pets :). And nothing works better than a kid stoking a tandem in morning traffic. The drivers disperse to the sides for us to pass, as we wave and smile to the poor schmucks.

  • Ethan Fleming

    I can just imagine myself going down the road and yelling, “HEY YOU IN THE PRIUS, DRIVE SAFE OR THE PUPPY GETS IT!!!”

  • Timothy53

    Ever watch how drivers react to squirrels? They will change lanes even risking oncoming traffic to avoid hitting a squirrel.

    Even a dead squirrel.

    Carrying a puppy can prove problematic. They squirm, they make noise, you have to water and feed them, And they need to be walked. A lot.

    But a dead squirrel is … well … dead.

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